the end

The clothes are packed, the dishes are washed, the room's been vacuumed, and fireworks are starting outside my window. Pretty soon here I'll head off with my camera for one last wander in this amazing city, ending up by Parliament to watch the midnight fireworks.

My last night in London. The last night of the year. The last post on this blog.* Seems fitting, somehow. See you all on the other side. Happy New Year!


*And remember, from now on you can catch me over here, with my monkeys.

who's good at procrastinating? I am!

It took me almost three hours to turn in my English essay today.

Shortly before noon I headed out in search of a place to print. (the Uni library closed on the 14th.) I went to the internet cafe I knew about--it was closed. I know it's New Year's Eve, but still, lazy. Since the second one I knew about was a long ways away in a direction I don't often travel, I called first (after returning to my dorm to fetch the number). Nobody answered.

I found an internet cafe nearby. They were open. They had a printer. The stars seemed to be aligning. Except the damn printer stopped working after 7 of my 16 pages had printed. So, clutching one of the required 2 copies of my essay, and with no bibliography in sight, I headed out into the wilds of London.

Nothing. I walked in a couple of circles, ended up in the City which seemed unpromising (if there's one section of London where people don't need public computers/printers, it's the City) but finally, appearing before me out of the shadows of my own gloom...


I almost danced.

I would like to take this opportunity to point out to FedEx UK that their system of payment isn't very good. At the ones I've been to in the US, you have to put in a credit card before anything happens. Here, I went to the computer, printed, and went up to a desk and told the guy how many pages I'd printed. I didn't even get a funny look because I obviously had more pages than I said (from the first place I printed). So a) I could have fudged the numbers or b) if the place had been any busier I probably could have just left without anyone noticing.

But I would not do that because I am a good person.

Anyway, after being saved by my knight-in-shining-armor Sir Kinkos, I went to the post office, popped it in the mail, and am now finishing packing.

24 hours from now I'll be somewhere over the Atlantic.

approaching the end...

Well folks, this is it.

Well, yes, I'm packing up my room preparing for my flight in a few days, preparing to leave England for the foreseeable future; also it's almost the end of the year. But that isn't the end I'm talking about. I'm talking about the Kettle.

It's been a year--almost exactly. And An Alternate Kettle of Fish is closing its doors. Thanks to everyone who has stopped by, I've truly loved meeting all of you. This has been a fun experiment, and I feel like a fuller person and a better writer for having done this blog. This seems like the right time to shut the Kettle for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that the aspects of my WIP that I'm playing with in the title no longer exist (boy was it funny though). And 1 year is such a nice round number.

So I'm going to post maybe once or twice more, to wrap up the London adventure, but once I'm back in the U.S. The Kettle will close down.


But wait! You aren't rid of me yet...

See, I've been keeping two blogs of late--this one, anonymous so that sketchy people on the internet can't stalk me (yes, I'm talking about you :), and another, not as anonymous, which has basically been a "study-abroad adventures" blog for my friends. Two blogs is pretty much a pain in the tush, but I don't want to shut either really, so I'm combining them.

Here.

So I'm not actually closing down; I'm just relocating. This new blog is not going to be fully anonymous. You will find out my (first) name and probably where I go to school and basically enough info that you could track me down if you really put your mind to it. Not that I particularly want you to try. Also I will drink more, but hopefully not in a way that will embarrass my parents. I think what's going to happen is the new blog's going to be mostly like this one except slightly more about me. We'll see.

Basically I've become confident enough (in what, I'm not exactly sure) to put my name and face behind the things I do on the internet. Also, if I ever do attempt to become a working writer, the checks will look better if they aren't made out to Fish.

So come on over to the MonkeyBlog. Good times are just waiting to be had. Butler Monkey Jeeves will show you the way...

Chester #2

I had to wear a hat during Christmas dinner. I still don't entirely understand why.

Anyway, Christmas was lovely. Then on Boxing Day (a holiday we may have to implement in the US) we went for a walk. It was pretty and involved dogs and helped us work off some of the Christmas meal.

Then the next day we went up to Manchester. It was cold and rainy and crowded. However, it was a fantastic day anyway. We began at Manchester Cathedral.




and then...

we found Santamon, distantly related to Pikachu,
sitting atop the Town Hall entrance

We eventually made our damp way to the Museum of Science and Industry, which turned into the highlight of the day. We spent about half of our time in the hands-on Xploration exhibit which was basically a bunch of shiny things and buttons. It was pretty much fantastic.

And then...

And then we went to the Doctor Who Exhibit. I don't think this day could have been any better. Doctor Who deserves its own post, which will be forthcoming soon.

Chester #1

Well, I spent Christmas with my friend and his family. I don't know about any of the rest of them, but I had fun. The first we went on a tour of Chester. It looked like this:

this is a famous clock that I don't remember the name of,
it doesn't tell the time towards Wales or something

the infamous Chester Cathedral

Chester Cathedral again

a window at Chester Cathedral

a street in Chester...from the clock

an ancient Roman wall

the river

a park

a statue in the park, complete with pigeon

The next day we went to Chester Zoo, one of the best in Europe. The bat cave was spectacular. I didn't take many pictures, but here are the highlights:

big kitty

snake. really, it's there.

And those were the first two days. Then came Christmas.

back from the North

Hi everyone! Hope you all had a lovely holiday/break from me.

First, a point of business--this blog will be shutting down once I'm back in the States. So you have me for...good grief, less than a week. Aieee! I'm going home! However, hold the celebrations--you may not be rid of me quite yet...further news bulletins as events warrant.


Anyway, back to Christmas. Christmas was lovely, my friend's family was extremely nice and Chester is very...cute? It was fun exploring an English city that wasn't London.

Two non-Christmas things of note happened while I was up there. 1) the Chester Zoo. 2) Doctor Who exhibit in Manchester. (I stood inside a Dalek. Nuff said.) Pictures will be posted...at some point...tho I'm probably going to be busy the next few days packing and stuff. We shall see.

holiday break

Ok, seriously. There can't be more than like 10 people in the dorms right now--why are ALL of them doing their laundry today? I've been trying for at least SIX hours to put my clothes in the wash but the machines are all always full. I have never had this much trouble, even when the damn building is FULL.

Seriously. I need some clean clothes.

Ahem. Back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Tomorrow I'm heading up north to Chester to spend Christmas with one of my friends and his family. You probably won't hear much from me for a week or so; I have this theory that spending lots of time on the internet when you're a guest in someone's house is a bit...rude.

So Merry Christmas to all! Even if you don't celebrate Christmas.

the V&A

Today I finally--finally--got myself over to the Victoria and Albert Museum. I had the brilliant idea of walking there, which may not have been the most efficient decision I've ever made. Googlemaps puts it almost five miles from my dorm, plus I--well, I wasn't ever actually lost, it's just some of the streets didn't go where I expected. So it took a while to get there. Here is a pretty street I walked along on my way:


Eventually I did arrive at the V&A:


I loved it. It was part museum, part attic. Everything was just kind of thrown together--not haphazardly, but I really did feel like I was just wandering around in someone's house where they'd collected a bunch of cool old stuff. It was also enormous and I think I accidentally missed some galleries. Oh well. Following are some of the highlights of my visit...

this hung in the entranceway; I never found a
sign but it's obviously a Chihuly

These next pictures are from the Cast Court Collection. Basically the V&A made reproductions of a bunch of stuff; much of the stuff in question has since been destroyed, making these casts very important.






I really like this statue. I do not remember who made it.

closeup of the statue's face

the sheet music to a song that makes fun of the Aesthetes of
the late 19th-century--ie dear Oscar

this piano was designed by Sir Edward Burne-Jones, one of
my favorite Pre-Raphaelite painters. note
in the background the painting by another of my favorite PRB
painters, Dante Gabriel Rossetti

and finally....

there was a set of rooms about theater and art, with a lot of--I
forget what they're called--mini-sets and ridiculous costumes.
here are some of the ridiculous costumes.

Anyway. That was the Victoria and Albert museum.

frost fair highlights

I finally have these pictures from the Frost Fair on my computer, so I can finally show you the absolute best part about the Frost Fair. I didn't mention them before because, really, words can't do them justice. I present the men in lighty-up angel outfits:


No, I do not know what they are. Aren't they awesome? Wheels were involved somehow, so they just kind of floated around. Wow.

holiday cheer

I do truly love Wondermark. Happy holidays, everybody. (you can make it big and legible by clicking on it...)

of Westminster and Wetherspoons

So my plans for yesterday were quite boring and ran thusly: wake up, read book borrowed from professor taking notes for future essay use, return book to professor.

However, my university, bless its little heart, had some sort of power failure and will be closed all week. Therefore I cannot return the book to my professor until after Christmas, since he is not allowed in his office. Therefore, I did not have to read it yesterday.

Instead I went to Westminster Abbey. It looks like this:


No pictures allowed inside, but that's okay. Westminster Abbey is pretty and awesome and all that, but the real thrill comes from all the dead people you get to stand on/chill next to. This list includes:

Queen Elizabeth I (I actually saw this painting--
I think at the Nat'l Portrait Gallery)

Mary, Queen of Scots

There were many other monarchs--Edward the Confessor, William (III) and Mary, Richard II, Henry VII, lots and lots of other Edwards, Anne of Cleves (Mrs. Henry 8 #4) was hidden behind a chair--but they aren't actually as interesting as the rest of the collection:

Alfred, Lord Tennyson (one of my favorite poets)

William Wilberforce (instrumental in abolishing
the slave trade)

Edward Bulwer-Lytton (a Victorian writer, probably most
famous for "It was a dark and stormy night"--and this)

Charles Darwin

Charles Dickens

Geoffrey Chaucer (he was quite remarkably short,
if his tomb is anything to go by)

Sir Hugh Dowding (commanded the RAF during
the Battle of Britain--also featured prominently
in a recent paper I wrote)

Handel

Winston Churchill

All in all, it was pretty much awesome.


Later that afternoon, I was taken to my first Wetherspoons (a famous/beloved chain of cheap pubs). Reactions/conclusions: I really miss American hamburgers. But it was indeed cheap. A fun evening.

the day I leave my camera home...

You may recall that the other day I randomly ran into a friend from home while walking down the street. Sunday I met him "for coffee," a meeting which did not at all involve coffee but instead involved going to the Frost Fair again and getting mulled wine. This little adventure also involved the Globe Theatre, because as part of the Fair the Globe opened its doors free of charge (usually it's 7.50).


It was quite fun--there's a museum-y bit, and a kind of market/fair thing with some booths that are actually selling things and some booths that are filled with pieces of books (50% off!), and the actors were running around doing things. My favorites were the Shakespearean death duo: one would say in that loud actor voice (you know, when actors aren't just yelling, they're "projecting" or whatever) "A Shakespearean Death!" and then they would mime a death--for instance the smothering in Othello--and then say the name of the play and bow. They would then run off to a new spot and repeat with a different play--"Macbeth!" It was quite amusing.

of santas and cowboys

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I saw when I looked out my window were three people dressed like Santa Claus walking purposefully down the street. They reminded me of this:

(for the unenlightened, it's a Doctor Who thing...)

Anyway--

I've spent the last few days working on an essay, so nothing particularly exciting to report. I had to spent like 2 hours of my Thursday dealing with evil university bureaucracy so that I could check books out from the library for another week (because my registration officially ended yesterday, my library card was going to be shut off, except I have another essay due so I still want books...anyway, it was a pain in the ass). That, however, is not very exciting so I won't bore you with any more details.

I was going to go to Westminster Abbey yesterday, but my date didn't show and I decided to go home. I did so and promptly fell asleep, and therefore didn't show when I was supposed to meet someone else outside the Globe, so what goes around comes around I guess. (I've just heard that he slept through a coffee date with someone else this morning...so it looks like we've started some evil chain...)

Last night I went to a bar with some friends and there were a bunch of British people dressed as cowboys and/or wearing sombreros who went nuts when "La Bamba" was played. The limbo was involved as well, I believe. Anyway, that was fun if bittersweet; it was the last time I'm really going to see some of my friends here.

Now I have a bit of work to do this weekend and I'm going to try to get to the Frost Fair (I'm at least going to the Moroccan food place for dinner). Only one essay left and then my term's done! Oscar Wilde is involved, which always makes for a good essay. :)

things that make me happy

They're baaaaaack!

In a slightly different form, but they're back. MST3K lives on...

The Mousetrap and other tales

Last night was quite interesting.

First, I went to see The Mousetrap, the longest-running play in theater history (56 years and counting!). It was fun, not quite excellent, but fun. I realized, though, that I like the play itself less than I thought I did. Maybe I'm finally outgrowing Agatha Christie. Also, just a warning for anyone who ever wants to go to St. Martin's Theatre: the seats in the Upper Circle are tilted in such a way that you feel as though you are going to be catapulted head-first onto the stage. Except the front row, where I moved once the lights went down and it became apparent that the actors onstage were in danger of outnumbering the audience.

My main problem with the show was the portrayal of Christopher Wren. He was just annoying. The actor looked like he was having fun camping it up on stage, but I winced every time he appeared. The acting in general just wasn't as sharp as it could have been. The dynamics between Molly and Giles just were more or less blah, though Giles himself was pretty good. Mrs. Boyle was the one stunning exception, and Sergeant Trotter was quite good as well. I didn't pay 3 pounds for a program and I'm too lazy to go look up the actors online, so I can't tell you any of the names that go with this show. Sorry. Overall I'd just say that it's a pretty good show. I enjoyed myself.

Oh, I guess I lied. My actual main problem with the show was nothing the theater people could do anything about: the audience was full of annoying people. People who said "it was him!" really loudly well before such an announcement was being made on stage. People who were explaining the plot in a loud whisper right before it was explained on stage. People who slurped whatever they were drinking really loudly during quiet moments. Seriously people. Shut up. I may start taking a cattle prod to shows with me and zapping the people that annoy me. That'll larn 'em.

After the theater things got even more exciting. After the homeless Welsh man who tried to get money and/or cigarettes from me, I ran into someone from my college. The college in Minnesota. He was just walking down the street; we practically ran into each other. Of all the gin joints in all the world...crazy.

Then on the way home I passed by a man who was lying in a pool of his own blood--other people were taking care of him and I don't like to gawk, so I kept on my merry way. And then I walked with a rather dotty old lady from the north for a while since we were both alone and going the same direction. It was interesting if a bit strange; generally in London random people don't talk to you unless they want something (see Welsh homeless man, above).

So that was my evening. And today I got a haircut, which was exciting and much-needed. When he was done operating, the hairdresser looked at me and said, "You look much better now."

Until next time...

ain't no sunshine when she's gone...or, well, ever

ahhh! I'm behind in updating you all on the mundane occurances of my life! I am so sorry.

Ok, so, last Thursday I went to Trafalgar Square, where it was raining, to watch the Lord Mayor of Westminster and the Prime Minister of Norway light a Christmas tree that has apparently been a traditional gift from Norway to Trafalgar Square since 1940 something (in thanks for WWII stuff). Here is the tree.

While there, I got to chat with the Lord Mayor, who managed to convincingly pretend that she knows where Minnesota is. My camera died on me so I don't actually have photographic evidence of this meeting, but it happened! I swear.

And then on Saturday I went to St. Stephen's Church off Gloucester Road to watch the University of London Symphony Orchestra perform some pieces by Elgar and Walton and Handel. I thought it was fantastic, tho my friend who's actually in the ULSO claims they messed up a couple of times. Whatever. If you're ever in London and want to spend 5 pounds to hear some really good symphony music, I recommend the ULSO.

And tomorrow...Mousetrap!!

internet serendipity II

For some reason the connection between youtube and blogger isn't working right now, so I can't imbed the videos I want to show you. (edit: whaddya know, one of them did work. scroll down to check out "Spy Tunes.") Instead you're going to have to follow these links to get to the amazing Greg Pattillo, who beatboxes while playing the flute. As soon as I get back to the U.S. I'm buying his group's cd.

Peter and the Wolf

Spy Tunes

A Hard Knock Life

Muppet Wars

Flight of the Bumblebee

internet serendipity

File this under "random awesome things found while wandering the internet." Greg Pattillo is my new favorite person. Make sure to check out his "Peter and the Wolf" as well, which I tried to upload here without success.

the WIP is dead. long live the WIP!

I've started writing again for the first time since I've been here. (finals are upcoming--I have to do something with my time :)

Thing is, I've started over.

With a new character.

There were many things about my WIP I didn't like: some quite gimmicky bits of plot that annoyed me and a main character that basically did whatever was convenient for me with no argument whatsoever and no character development that wasn't dictated by what she needed to do to get from Point A to Point B. I wasn't impressed.

So it's the same basic story. But with a character I like better and who will hopefully be more interesting.

I expect this draft to go relatively quickly, really, considering that I've now almost-written this entire novel twice. And now that school stuff is wrapping up. Though there are still London things to do. Westminster Abbey next week!


in other news, this blog might shut down soon, like in a month or so (after a nice round year). just a warning. we'll see. I'll keep you updated. or I won't, in which case the blog has probably shut down.

doing things again, hurrah!

Yesterday was a day simply chock-filled with activity. Well, it was at least chock with activities, if not quite filled. Anyhoo.

First off, I went skating in Hyde Park. It was a wee bit overpriced, but the rink was about 3x the size of the one in downtown St. Paul--and it was in Hyde Park. The worst part was I had to rent skates, which I haven't needed to do since I started playing hockey. The skates available for rental looked more or less like this...


...except with blades on the bottom. They were so dull I was incapable of hockey-stopping at all with my right foot and could barely do it with my left (weaker) foot. (this means something to somebody. I'm sure it does.) So I couldn't go as fast as I wanted to because I couldn't stop and I feel unsafe going fast in crowds if I can't stop. It was fun, though.

Oh yes, and yesterday also proved that everywhere I go, no matter where I'm skating, there will always, ALWAYS be a 6-year-old boy who skates better than I do. Always. It's depressing.


I then just made it in time to see Oklahoma! as performed by people with funny accents. The audience was incredibly annoying and talkative, but the acting was good (student production). Laurie was a bit annoying but she always is. Curly was trying to walk bow-legged, which was amusing. But the singing was excellent and that's what's important, even if I was a bit thrown off every time someone said "feller" and "winder" and such things. Oh yes, and Ado Annie was fantastic and she's always been my favorite character.

I was going to go to the V&A today but...it's raining. And I'm writing. Sooo...next week. Yeah.

fickle fish

So today I fell in love with Aubrey Beardsley. It was our last English class of the semester, and instead of making us do any real work our prof gave us a bunch of Beardsley's illustrations (of Oscar's Salome, so they did actually relate to the course) and we discussed them. The style looks vaguely familiar so I must have seen him somewhere before (or it could just be that Beardsley looks a bit like Edward Gorey if you take your glasses off and squint) but I'd never had such fun deciphering art. And from what little the prof said about him, he sounds fascinating.

Here are some random examples I've found on the internet.






And here is a painting of the man himself which I think I may have walked past in one of these museums over here...



Apparently Oscar didn't like him (partially due, perhaps, to his caricatures of Oscar) so I feel vaguely like I'm cheating. Oh well. What can I say, I'm fickle.

partly recovered but still groggy

Well, I am now upright and, not only upright, but at my desk. And not just at my desk but--wait for it--writing an essay. Because that's all I ever do these days.

I know. Crazy.

This past weekend may possibly be the worst possible sickness-related weekend I have ever had in my life. I'm sure I'm forgetting something horrendous that happened when I was like 2, but in recent times I can recall nothing more miserable than the 12 hours I spent Friday night/Saturday morning doing that fever/chills/shaking/not sleeping thing.

And unfortunately the chicken-soup making skills of these Brits is decidedly lacking--though I am grateful for the one who fetched me soup from the store and the other one who told me that since I looked like the walking dead I should just stay under the covers and he'd make my toast for me.

But I'm better now! More or less. Well, I'm upright and at my desk writing an essay about the South African War and its causes. Many thanks to all who showed concern.



And now I have a busyish week planned--skating in Hyde Park, a concert by one of the premier student orchestras in London (USLO? SLOU? SLOP? no, that last one's not right...one of my friends is in it--aha!), a student production of Oklahoma! (mostly because it's cheap and I want to see what these people do with American accents--I'm imagining a cockney Ado Annie), and...there was something else I've forgotten. Aside from the skating none of it's too taxing, and that's not happening til Sunday at which point I will either be recovered or I will...I don't know, but this country won't enjoy it.

Oh yes, I've remembered the other thing! This! The Mayor's welcoming of the annual Norweigan Christmas tree. There's also something about an annual crib (as in for babies) but that's just confusing so we'll ignore that.

Back to work now.

God rest ye merry gentlefolks...

Deck the Halls with Boughs of Flu-Bells

So one month from today I leave this country. This strikes me as a good time to reflect, to look back on the two and a half months I've been here, to come to some striking conclusions and perhaps make some observations about how I have changed and grown as a human being.

Unfortunately, I appear to have the flu so my brain is kind of a sloshy mush at the moment and I just generally feel like I'm about to die or perhaps have already died. So no reflections will be forthcoming. Sorry.

Instead I will spend the next few days quarantined in my room, sleeping and watching Black Books. Probably also Green Wing. If I'm feeling super-energetic, I might even review these two spectacular British series. (Black Books is available in the U.S. for gobs of money or through Netflix, but Green Wing hasn't yet ventured across the sea, I don't think.)


p.s. to parents because I don't have the energy to write an email: if you desire to speak to me in the next few days, my cell phone would be much more convenient so I don't have to get out of bed. love to all.