The Theme Park that Must Not Be Named

As if a Dickens theme park isn't enough, in 2009 we can all go to HarryPotterland, or whatever it is they're calling it. Sorry, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. In--guess, guess!--Orlando, Florida. It's been rumored for a while but is apparently official now.

The BBC has a link here to a video newscast they did about the park, including an artist's rendering of what it will look like. They're going to build Hogwarts, the Forbidden Forest, Hogsmead, and have a fully-functional Hogwarts Express. Here's the Chicago Trib article, as well, which is much meatier than the BBC's (though not delivered with a British accent). They link to the video of the official announcement with the designer Stuart Craig.

I think it will be better for everyone if I just refrain from commenting on this development. I have a philosophical question, though: is there a point at which JK Rowling can no longer become richer? I mean, is there like a critical mass point?

review of a review: The Purple Balloon

So this happened a few weeks ago, but (since newspapers tend to hang around on our kitchen table for a while) I just saw the article again today and got confused again and so here is my blog post about it.

The NYTimes printed a special Children's Book Review Section on Sunday the 13th of May. John Green reviewed The Purple Balloon by Caldecott-winner Chris Raschka, an illustrated book which teaches children about death by first having a child balloon see his grandfather balloon die, and then has the child balloon become terminally ill. The review is a positive one, but...

The child balloon is red.

The Red Balloon was such an integral part of my childhood that as soon as I saw the words "death" and "balloon" in the same paragraph, I thought of that film. And then, the child balloon turns out to be red...the connections are not subtle. (For anyone who has not seen this French masterpiece, The Red Balloon is a film about a little boy and his red balloon and is one of the best ways to teach children about death.)

I am going to make the wild assumption that Raschka made the balloon red on purpose, perhaps as a sort of homage. He explains that the balloon image itself comes from children: "When a child becomes aware of his or her pending death and is given the opportunity to 'draw your feelings,' he or she will often draw a blue or purple balloon, released and floating free." But you do not write a book about dying balloons and make the main character red on accident. Not after The Red Balloon. Which is fine. I have no problems with that. It looks like a fantastic book, and Raschka is welcome to do as he pleases with his illustrations. Heck, it makes sense, even, for the child balloon to be red.

My problem is the NYTimes review did not mention The Red Balloon.

I'm going to credit Mr. Green with knowledge of the film; I like to think that nobody can work for the NYTimes without having seen it. But to not mention it, even in passing?..."blah blah blah reminiscent of Albert Lamorisse's Le Ballon rouge blah blah..." The review just didn't feel complete. I mean seriously, The Red Balloon was the first thing I thought of. How can you write a review about a book about dying balloons, wherein the main character is a red balloon, and NOT mention this film?

Ok, I've calmed down a bit. Sorry 'bout that.

But seriously. It just doesn't make sense to me.

So I ask you, reading public--did anyone else think of the film before I mentioned it? Am I being ridiculous to assume that educated people in America (namely, NYTimes book reviewers) have seen this film? Am I being ridiculous to expect them to mention it?

I'm pretty sure I'm being ridiculous by ranting about it. Honestly, I don't know why this bugs me so much. Maybe because I'm one of those kids who cried at the end of The Red Balloon.

time for an uplifting post, I think

Hey folks. In news that isn't depressing, I've passed the 25,000 word mark in my current WIP (that's all been done since the end of the semester--maybe 3 weeks). I'm thinking I'm about a quarter of the way done, though I really have no idea. I know everything that I have to write, I just don't know how many words it will take.

I'm trying a new writing method. Other people use it, and I've seen different terms for it, but I'm going to call it the "Splotchy" method. I thought I would share it with you.

A few days ago, I hit a place in my WIP that I've stalled at a few times before and--whaddya know--I stalled again. However, my brain was jumping around, and I decided to just go ahead and write a scene that I've been thinking about for a while, a scene that introduces a new character that I like. So I wrote this scene that doesn't show up until probably halfway through the book. Then I wrote a different scene that will probably show up a chapter after that, then I wrote some scenes that lead up to the end, and then I wrote the end. Then I went back and wrote another unconnected scene. I eventually went back to the place where I stalled and am writing a mile a minute, since somewhere along the way I seem to have figured the answer to the problem I was having.

Welcome to alternatefish's Splotchy Method of Writing.

I've been avoiding trying this type of writing since I had this vague notion I would have to rewrite later sections if I did something unexpected in an earlier section. But I have discovered that I know my own story so well this is unlikely to happen. Kind of an amazing discovery, one that makes me happy.

Here is what a happy fish looks like:

Memorial Day

I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has ever fought a war for our country, whether they died in action or--like both my grandfathers, thankfully--returned safely. Whether or not I agree with all the wars my country has fought, I will always respect and honor the people who fight them. Thank you for what you do.

The CNN timeline of U.S. casualities throughout history:


The CNN report on current casualties in the Iraqi war.

belated RIP...Lloyd Alexander

So I don't know what I was doing on May 17 (maybe snoozing under a rock?), or if this was just so completely not news that it isn't really my fault for missing it, but one of my favorite, favorite childhood authors died last Thursday. Last Thursday as in two Thursdays ago. Seriously, where was I?

Lloyd Alexander

The Prydain Chronicles. Vesper Holly. Westmark. The Marvelous Misadventures of Sebastian. Gypsy Rizka. The Arkadians. The First Two Lives of Lukas-Kasha. The Remarkable Journey of Prince Jen. The Iron Ring. Time Cat. Did I mention The Prydain Chronicles?

And those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head. This man helped create my childhood in a way that continues to influence me and my writing. I still vividly recall particular scenes from any of a number of his books; when Taran the Assistant Pig-Keeper first met Eilonway of the red-gold hair (she dropped her golden ball)...that final battle in Lukas-Kasha...the marvelous moment in The Black Cauldron when that arrogant prince very believably changed as a character and sacrificed himself....

So many years later and all of his writing is still so vivid and fresh in my mind. If, for just ten minutes of my life, I can write like Lloyd Alexander I will be a happy girl.

Apparently he died peacefully, two weeks after his wife of 60+ years. His final novel is to be published in August.

RIP, Mr. Alexander.

what the heck is a phone flasher?

I have found yet another semi-useless amazing gizmo that I need to buy, once I've purchased my hugely expensive Stephen Fry clock. A Dr. Who Phone Flasher!

Will Write When I Am Less Important

I rarely--maybe never?--review books here, for a variety of reasons. Mostly I just don't want to put in the time to write a review that would actually be useful to the reading public; my movie reviews are pretty shipshod (that might not be the collection of syllables I'm looking for*) but I feel like books deserve more care.

I am making an exception because this book is so unknown and, I believe, so fantastically valuable for writers that my little review might actually convince someone to read it.

The book of which I speak is Dear Genius: The Letters of Ursula Nordstrom, ed. Leonard S. Marcus.

Ursula Nordstrom was the Harper's editor responsible for Maurice Sendak (Where the Wilde Things Are), E.B. White (Charlotte's Web), Margaret Wise Brown (Goodnight, Moon), Laura Ingalls Wilder (you know her) and many other books and authors that created my childhood as well as yours. This collection contains letters she wrote to the authors under her care. The selection of letters is relatively broad and well-put-together; Marcus did an excellent job with the footnotes and I was never confused.**

Not only is Nordstrom funny as all heck, these letters provide an invaluable insight into editor-author relationships. Her tone is always friendly and vaguely motherly, even when she is begging Edward Gorey (in a scolding sort of way) to send in the pictures he'd promised months before:

Dear Edward,
Thank you for your card telling me you are having a nervous breakdown. Welcome to the club. I think you know that I have His and Her Straitjackets hanging in my office. Come down and slip into one and we can have a good talk.

Honey, I hate to pester you, but we do so want to do beautifully by your book The Interesting List. And we were supposed to get it in November...

It is remarkable the way she treats her authors, like they are brilliant, wondrous creatures that awe her in everything they do. Except, of course, when they don't. One letter regretfully turns down an author's second novel because it is not as good as the first. Usually, though, Nordstrom is acting as cheerleader for her authors, pouring into her letters so much excitement about whatever it is they're working on that I got excited.

All writers should read this book. This woman was an incredible genius at what she did, and her letters make for an entertaining and informative read.

I have to end with one of my favorite pieces, a 1948 telegram to Margaret Wise Brown:

Sorry cannot accept gracious invitation. Wish I could. Have important date with important librarian about important book. Will write when I am less important.

*"haphazard" works better, I think.
**I love footnotes. Anyone ever read Ibid: A Novel?

free books!!!

I've been reading this man's blog for less than a month now, and I've already seen him give away at least half a dozen of his books. Having heard excellent things about this series from all quarters, I am now entering all the drawings I can find.


Much as I hate to increase my competition, it only seems fair to spread the word about Hal Spacejock. So Here and Here are the two drawings I am currently aware of. Please don't enter until I've won my copies. I'll let you know.

introducing my muse

So I've finally figured out that my muse is a Flanimal. This Flanimal, to be precise:


Meet the Blimble Sprent (Kluckoid Scrambler).

"This creature sprints around blimbly in ever direction, always avoiding its destination. After it's been around in circles for many miles, it dies from exhaustion in the exact place it started."

Yup, that sounds like my muse.

review: Shrek the Third

Ok, I am used to being the sole laugh in a full theater--I apparently have a strange sense of humor--but this was kind of ridiculous. So I'm going to explain this joke to you, slowly, so that we all get it, then I'm going to review Shrek the Third.

Julie Andrews is the voice of the Queen in the Shrek movies. At one point in the Third, the Queen bangs her head into a wall and then, somewhat loopy, begins to hum some bars from "These Are a Few of My Favorite Things." This is funny because--you all with me here?--one of Julie Andrews's most famous roles was as Maria in The Sound of Music. In which she sings "These Are a Few of My Favorite Things."

Are we all clear on that joke now? K. Moving on.

Shrek the Third is not as good as Shrek 2. In comparison to the average movie released in America today, though, Shrek the Third was a pretty good film. I laughed.

The problem is, this film is partly held up by some of the brilliance of the other two movies, not just in the jokes that reference the earlier movies but because its story only works as a continuation of the Shrek 2 story. While Shrek and Shrek 2 each had the quality and the storyline to be a stand-alone film, Shrek the Third only exists with those two as crutches.

The story here is weak and the message and morals (morals! ack!) were a bit overmuch. Shrek doesn't want to become a father but finds a fatherless boy (Justin Timberlake--I think he may have a future voice-acting whiny adolescent boys) and they teach each other about...love and caring and responsibility and stuff while saving the kingdom of Far, Far Away. Meanwhile Princess Fiona is stuck with some useless princesses while being attacked by Prince Charming. (Somehow I was reminded of some of the Redwall books with the split storyline, but that's neither here nor there.) Then there are some lovely speeches about believing in yourself. Plot holes are leapt over with great bounds and Led Zepplin music, leaving me with a dissatisfied feeling at the end.

The humor is still there, though, and makes this movie worth seeing--if only once. Some of the jokes are dependent on the previous two films, but there is the usual Shrek mix of kid-humor and over-their-heads adult stuff. Eric Idle as Merlin is one of the highlights of my movie year so far. The humor wasn't quite as sharp as in the first two films--a lot of the jokes felt stale--but it was still funny enough that I wasn't sorry to have spent the money.

So my overall judgment is that it's worth the time and money but don't expect it to be as good as its predecessors, and prepare yourself for some questionable bits of plot.

I have to say, though, when they dunked Puss in Boots in the ocean, that was beautiful. They do know how to do animation over at DreamWorks.

musical goodness

Any day when you can purchase two Beethoven cds and get Carmen for free is a good day (thanks to Barnes and Noble's 2-fer-1 classical awesomeness that's going on now). Granted, I was supposed to be birthday shopping for my brother, but...these were writing expenses! I write better to Beethoven, and I have a character who sings Votre toast je peux vous le rendre (you probably know it as the Toreador song) so I needed Carmen. Granted, she doesn't sing it for another ten chapters or so, but I need to be ready.

I also picked up some Gaelic Storm. If you happen to be in the Twin Cities area August 10-12, that's when Irish Fair Minnesota occurs and Gaelic Storm is headlining again. They were a fantastic show last year.

Kind of in a writing slump right now; I'm in a part of my WIP that I've already written about 8 times, and it's starting to bore me. I may just copy and paste in a previous version, just to get on with it to something new.

Toreador, en garde! Toreador, Toreador!

Classics: Abridged

The NYTimes has published a brief article about the shortening of classics, prompted by the news that a British publisher is printing abridged versions of Moby Dick, Anna Karenina, and David Copperfield. The majority of the article, though, was given to some famous authors who put in their two cents about what works should be abridged.

I have already ranted slightly about the common trend of bluffing knowledge of great books by reading super-abbreviated versions of them, and how disgusting this trend is. This "paring down," as they're calling it (abridged is apparently too dirty a word) is simply a further example of the modern wish to "have read" great books without having to take the time to actually read them. (Kind of like Dorothy Parker and writing.*)

On the other hand, I would have liked Moby Dick much better if all those whaling chapters had been cut out. And while I adore Anna Karenina, I have been known to complain about the parts where Levin spends chapters cutting down wheat.

On the other hand (am I up to three now?) I wouldn't give back one word of David Copperfield.

So while I agree with the Times' authors that there are some books that could be improved with some slight chopping, I disapprove strongly of the chopping. What if some editor decides to abridge out a part of the book I would have loved? That is part of reading books--deciding if you like what the author has written.

I tend to get kind of adamant and indignant on this matter, but if anyone would like to disagree with me, feel free. Or if you would like to agree with me, please do that as well. It always makes me happy when people agree with me.


*"I don't like to write, but I love to have written."--Dorothy Parker (Hear, hear!)

interview with Mackenzie Crook

The Guardian has interviewed Mackenzie Crook, one of my favorite actors since his Office days.

less happy newsflash

Miss Snark is retiring from the blogosphere. I checked the calendar, this is not an April Fool's joke.

I guess there isn't really much left for her to teach the writing community, but I'm going to miss her snarkiness. Guess I'll leave her link over there in the sidebar for at least a little while.

I wonder if we're ever going to know who she is?

exciting superfun newsflash

Well, now that things have settled down a bit, what with the end of the semester and me being home and doing lots of resting and writing and watching of birds, I want to share with you all (all three of you?) my exciting news of the year:

I'm going to LONDON!!

I'm spending an entire semester--Fall 2007--in England's great capital. I am superexcited.

I've already started looking at what's going on in theater when I'm there--Ewan McGregor as Iago, for one--and trying to figure out how much of the UK I can get to on the weekends. My one absolute set-in-stone definite stop: Oscar Wilde's childhood home in Dublin.

Soooo...does anyone have any suggestions for what I should do and see while in London? Any day trips/weekend trips you might suggest? Anything off-the-beaten-track that I might otherwise miss? Keep in mind that I am an under-monied college student who would prefer to do things that resemble free.

I'm going to London!!!

fun times at the DMV

So my first task upon arriving home was to go down to the friendly department of motor vehicles office to get my driver's license renewed. I had to wait for an hour (luckily my brother was with me and I could amuse myself by throwing things at--erm--talking to him), and during that hour I discovered what an amazing, bubbling, festering pot of characters the DMV line is. (can pots fester?) Waiting in line for two hours only to be told that you brought the wrong birth certificate (what the heck is a novelty birth certificate?) really just brings out the core character of a person.

Some say: "All right, I'll come back tomorrow."

Some say: "Why the &!*@ is it such a big deal what my birth certificate looks like? How many times do I have to prove I was born? I'm here, aren't I?"

Which is kind of an interesting point.

Ok, to quote Firefly quoting somebody who may or may not have actually existed, "Live with a man forty years. Share his house, his meals… speak on every subject… then tie him up, and hold him over the volcano's edge, and on that day you will finally meet the man." You know, put someone under the ultimate amount of pressure and his true colors will fly.

That's the effect I saw at the DMV. All these people being pushed to a boiling point that they don't usually have to deal with (the DMV, while not actually as dangerous as a volcano, can be a pretty traumatizing experience). I felt like I was able to see right into the core of a lot of these people. Fascinating, from a writer's perspective. (me, I started coloring with the crayons they had out for children. so those are my true colors, if you're interested. colors. coloring. heehee.)

It also occurred to me that being a worker at the DMV must be quite the experience. The woman helping me said she used to work for an airline, so she was used to people being angry at her for things she couldn't do anything about. (y'know, like weather delays over Christmas.)

She summed up her day like this:

"Well," she said, "I made one woman really happy and one man really angry, so I guess it all evens out into a good day."

And I would just like to add that my DMV experience, aside from the wait, was perfectly painless and I am now legal to drive again. Yippee.

procrastination help...not that I need help

There is no better way to procrastinate writing than reading about writing--I mean, it's almost like writing. I'm learning what I'm supposed to be doing! So to aid both you and myself (hey, I need to collect these links somewhere), here are a few of the better procrastination sites I've found. Some of these are less serious than others.

How to Write a Novel, by Justine Larbalestier (recent winner of the Andre Norton Award--congrats!)

How to Be a Writer in Ten Easy Steps, by Maureen Johnson

Peter's Evil Overlord List

The Fantasy Novelist's Exam

Heinlein's [Infamous] Rules

The Ten Rules of Detective Fiction

How to Write a Best-Selling Fantasy Novel

Plus, any one of many writer's blogs. Oh, you lovely writers who blog. Don't know what I'd do without you. I'm going to start adding them to the side soon, I think. We'll see.

K. I should get back to writing now. Cheers.

respect the dead or they will EAT YOUR BRAINS

Since nobody will go see 28 Weeks Later with me, I guess I'll just have to sit here and collect zombie omnium and gatherum. Zombiomnium. I so just created a word.

A picture of the last supper, zombie-style...


An article about zombies movies from msnbc.com.

A picture of Bruce Campbell getting ready to kick some undead ass in Army of Darkness. He's got his shotgun, his chainsaw, he's set...


A list of zombie books, cuz even though zombies are much better in movies, book zombies deserve love too.

A picture of a bunch of people pretending to be zombies, from Shaun of the Dead...


And finally, just so this post has something useful in it....The Zombie Survival Guide.

random update on me

Well, I've spent three of my past five days on a beach. How's your week going? :)

I've also written over 3,000 words this evening in my current WIP, a pace I can never accomplish when writing about the English Reformation or art in Humbert Humbert's defense or any other school-like thing.

So all in all, a good week.

My blogging muse has been failing me for the past few days, which is why I haven't been writing here. I haven't really done much for the past few days except sit on various beaches, so the problem is partly just a dearth of material. But partly my brain just shut off when the semester ended.

In a few days I'm going home to visit la famille, which will be lovely and relaxing. Except for the lack of beaches. Two weeks without a beach. Goodness, my life is hard.

The rising and the shining cannot be postponed...

Oh. My. God. I need this.

The VOCO Clock. Voiced by Stephen Fry. Stephen. Fry. Waking you up every morning with his gorgeous Jeeves voice.

If anyone wants to get me a present anytime soon....

Creating Shylock

Here is an article from the Guardian that seems relevant to my earlier review of the Guthrie's Merchant of Venice. A "Jewish Religious Affairs Specialist" discusses the anti-Semitic problems of performing Shylock and the decisions he made in helping a young actor create the role. An interesting article.

keep your eye out....

...for Helvetica the movie. Coming soon to a theater near you. Yes, that's right, Helvetica as in the typeface. It's 50 years old this year and somebody's made a documentary. You should come see it at the Walker Art Center with me at the end of May, or go see it somewhere else if you aren't in the Twin Cities.

Here's a picture to show which typeface Helvetica is. I stole this directly from a BBC article.

review: Hot Fuzz

Rarely do I walk out of a theater with the desire to turn back around, pay money, and watch the same exact movie again. That happened to me tonight after viewing Hot Fuzz; unfortunately, I went to the latest showing and so did not have the option to go back. Probably a good thing, really.

This film takes some sparkling humor and mixes it into the middle of a rip-roaring action cozy. Yup, I just made up a new genre. Action Cozy. So Hot Fuzz is an Action Cozy Comedy.

From the makers of Shaun of the Dead (zombie spoof), Hot Fuzz follows the adventures of Nick Angel, a superstar London cop who is making his coworkers look bad and so gets shipped off to the little town of Sanford. Once there, he tries to convince his new coworkers that a series of accidents are in fact murders. General mayhem ensues.

The comedy is fantastic, though it can be subtle and occasionally very British. The IMDb boards are having a heated discussion about whether or not Americans are smart enough to get British humor, and if British humor is better than American humor, and I'm just ignoring the whole thing because I think they're being dumb. American and British humor are different, yes, but I don't think Americans are too dumb to get British humor. I would like to present myself as a case in point. Thank you. Perhaps I will delve deeper into this topic later, but for now back to the review.

The strong leads (Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, also in Shaun) were supported by an equally strong group of famous British people: Timothy Dalton as a slimy store manager, Martin Freeman (of The Office), Bill Nighy, Jim Broadbent (you'd know him if you saw him). And Stephen Merchant (co-creator of The Office) had a cameo as a man who's lost his swan. There were other people in the movie, too, equally as entertaining.

The only real problem with this movie is that it doesn't want to be just one kind of movie, hence my creation of a new genre. There's a rather abrupt transition partway through from cozy comedy to action comedy but if you like both genres, you should be fine; if you can't stand one of them, you might have problems.

Basically I think this movie is the greatest thing since sliced bread. You should go see it.

The people behind this movie (writer/director Edgar Wright, Pegg, and Frost) are responsible for an extinct British television show, Spaced, which I'm trying to get a hold of. If anyone has any info about that... :)

well, that stinks

Red Wings Eliminate Sharks with 2-0 Win

but--the doctor said...

So what would you do if your doctors told you that you only had a year or so to live? That's right, you'd go wild and spend all your money, living it up until all you had left was a suit and a coffin.

But then what would you do if it turned out your doctors were wrong? You've spent all your money on one last hurrah, but--oops--now you have to pay bills for the next twenty years. So now what?

Obvious. You sue your doctors.

it's summerrrrrrr!

Who's done with her third year of college? Oh yeah, that would be me. *happy dance around the kitchen*

The rewrites went better than I expected, sort of. The story that started out kinda bad ended up pretty good, but the story that started out pretty good didn't get much better. I don't think. We'll see what the prof says. This prof has worked out well for me; I'm not just trying to get the best grade I can out of her, I sincerely believe she's helping me become a better writer.

There were some scary moments last night when my computer began randomly shutting down while I was in the middle of revising. I can always get it to turn back on again when that happens--I just have to whack it in the right place--but that was not a good time for it to be going haywire. I think I had a couple of minor heart attacks.

In other news, Spiderman is set to return for THREE more movies. Good grief. For some reason Spidey never really grabbed me the way Batman or the X-men did, and these movies aren't even that good. Seriously. NOT GOOD. Am I the only one who's noticed?

film obsession

A recent poll by some British people puts the Star Wars trilogy as the number one film people obsess over and watch repeatedly (yes, it's three films, but it makes sense to count it as one). Broken down by gender, it was an overwhelming #1 for men, and #2 for women behind Dirty Dancing. Rounding out the top five for men were Aliens, The Terminator, Blade Runner, and The Godfather. Rounding out the top five for women were Grease, The Sound of Music, and Pretty Woman.

Just to show y'all how weird I am, well, first, judging by this list I am a man and not a woman. Even so, except for the Godfather movies, there aren't particularly any movies here that I watch obsessively. (I'm ignoring kid movies in this poll; I watched Sound of Music about, oh 5000 times when I was a child and The Little Mermaid about twice that, but we're not counting them.)

So I'm going to list my top five movies I watch obsessively. In no particular order...

1. Zulu. Starring Stanley Baker and a young and gorgeous Michael Caine, this is the story (based in fact) of a couple hundred British soldiers defending a little outpost in South Africa from about 3000 Zulu warriors. It's hugely long but feels like nothing.

2. The Seven Samurai. Akira Kurosawa's masterpiece, starring the great Toshiro Mifune and the possibly greater Takashi Shimura. A beautiful story of 7 samurai defending a village from 40 evil bandits. Hm, that sounds a lot like Zulu. Interesting. Anyway, I once ceased being friends with someone because he said he watched this three-hour movie only when he had trouble falling asleep (ok, there were a couple of other reasons, but this was a major red flag).

3. The Adventures of Robin Hood, starring Errol Flynn. This is one of the movies I watched frequently during my childhood that I still watch a couple of times a year because it so darn fun. That fight scene at the end--the shadows--it's just fantastic. It's one of those movies that I can say the lines along with the characters. If I want to. Which I don't, because that would be annoying.

4. The Great Escape. The first DVD I ever purchased. Based on the true events of a German prison camp in WWII, it has Steve McQueen's famous motorcycle scene and a plethora of famous acting stars. Basically, a bunch of prisoners are trying to get out of a prison camp. It's pretty much great.

5. The Emperor's New Groove. Two words: talking llama. Yes, it's Disney, but unlike the kid movies I mentioned above, I did not start watching this one until I was older (mainly because it hadn't been made yet) and I still watch it. Often. Much to the chagrin of my roommates.

Honorable Mention: Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister. The astute among you will notice that these are not movies but TV shows, but I'm pretty sure I have watched each series more than I've watched any movie on that last above (except maybe Robin Hood). Made in the 1980s, these shows are about an MP, then the PM, and his staff, and how funny politics are within the government. I know all the jokes before they arrive but I laugh anyway.

Aside from Emperor, every film I listed was made well before my birth (well, the Ministers weren't that long before, I guess), which tells us a lot about me. Also, there are many, many films better than these. All of Kurosawa's films are better than Emperor, for instance, and Stalag 17 is simply a better prison movie than Great Escape. But these are the ones that I watch over and over and will continue to watch over and over for many years.

Star Wars is probably in my top ten. At the very least, it tops all soundtrack lists.

Dun-dun-dun-duh-duh-DUN-duh-duh-DUNNNNN!!!

Toshiro Mifune

I've decided that last post was rather dull, as blog posts go, so I'm going to spice things up a bit with a picture of the late, great Toshiro Mifune. He always makes everything better. If you don't know who he is, well, basically he was a Japanese actor who's about 1000x cooler than the coolest person you know.


Aw, heck. Here are two pictures.


And one more. Just look at all that cool.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm putting off those rewrites I have to do.

finals & grain analogies & writing tips

I've completed 3 of my 4 classes for the semester! Yay!

All I have left to do is prepare my final portfolio for my creative writing class. This involves major rewrites of the stories I wrote this semester, something which I anticipate as being painful. About one story my prof said that it was a good concept, but because it is so good it needs to be perfectly executed. If the story is not absolutely perfect it will not work at all.

So I'm walking a fine line between Perfect and Kindling. That's not stressful or anything.

My other story will probably be easier to rewrite, since there's nowhere to go but up with that one.

I don't like rewriting. It is so much harder than writing. I guess that is what separates the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, the Authors from the Wannabes. The ability to take that brain-barf that is your first draft and craft it into something other people might want to read.

I have created step-by-step guide for writers with that in mind:

1. Put ass in chair.
2. Write.
3. Rewrite.
4. Rewrite.
5. Rewrite.
6. Repeat steps 3-5 as necessary.

I don't think that guide is particularly original. Feel free to borrow it.

Wanted: Canadian Supervillian

Canadian magazine The Beaver is currently seeking nominations for "the Worst Canadian" in history. We are amused.

According to the Yahoo News article, the current vote leader is Harold Ballard, the former part-owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team who spent some time in jail for tax fraud and was accused of sexually molesting an underage girl.

The Beaver's poll echoes a BBC poll from last year (Jack the Ripper won that vote), which just goes to show once again that Canada really just wishes it could be as cool as England. Just kidding, Canada. I love you. Eh?

(please note the humor in the fact that the BBC voters chose a serial killer as their Worst, and the Canadian voters are on track to choose a man who owned a hockey team. please note. really, I do love Canada and their hockey obsession. eh?)

(sorry. I'll stop now.)

(eh?)

view from a bus window

If ever there was a reason to carry a camera with you everywhere, at the ready, here it is. I present...the Mercedes Bonz.


I saw this masterpiece driving around Saint Paul the other day, through the window of my bus, and I have never so desired a camera and not had one. This is the only picture of it I could find on the entire internet, but I don't think it really does the vehicle justice. Seriously, this car is awe-inspiring.

And now I carry my camera in my purse.

if MI5 did aliens...

Torchwood...it's like Doctor Who, but it's not, see, because the letters are scrambled.

Also, I can't decide if I like it, which is why I've waited this long to review it. It's vaguely entertaining, I just...don't know. Somehow it hasn't captured me the way the Doctor has.

The basic concept is that there's a secret government organization in England (Torchwood) in charge of dealing with alien...stuff. Y'know. Alien stuff. We enter with the new girl, a cop named Gwen who stumbles upon Torchwood and gets seconded. (that is a great word, which I don't get to utilize often enough. seconded. yay.)

Torchwood is an ensemble piece, more or less, spun-off from Doctor Who and set firmly on earth. In Cardiff, of all places. The familiar face of Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) is the leader of the little outfit; Captain Jack has appeared in a couple episodes of the new Doctor Who and is set to show up in a few more. The other characters in the crew have not been developed yet, at least in the episodes I've seen, except for Gwen and Ianto Jones, slightly.

Torchwood's just not as riveting as Doctor Who somehow. Part of my problem might be that Gwen was the main character for the first four episodes (as she helped the audience get settled in Torchwood while she was doing it herself), and I find her kind of dull. The episode I watched today, "Cyberwoman," did not focus on Gwen and I liked it better. So Torchwood does seem to be becoming more of a true ensemble piece, which will probably lead to my enjoying the show more.

Although if Gwen and Jack start having an affair, I may quit the show entirely. One of the main differences between the two shows is that they've sexed Torchwood up, compared to Doctor Who. Apparently there's some thing in Britain, if a show's on after 9pm it can be more "adult," and Torchwood has taken full advantage of it...for no reason that I can see except that, well, they can. It neither detracts nor adds to the show. There's just increased snogging and romance.

Anyway. This isn't much of a review because I'm still kind of having a "meh" reaction. It's an acceptable show, perfectly watchable, and I can smell potential for greatness. It just hasn't quite come through yet.